You really coming over, don't trick.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
