I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize