I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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