You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
