why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
