people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I came so hard my ears popped.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
