just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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