I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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