I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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