i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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