literally had 100 drinks last night.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
