I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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