Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
