Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
