Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
