i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize