it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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