I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
