she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
