): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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