she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
