then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
