too bad you live with your parents still
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
