I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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