jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
