ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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