goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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