Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
