I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
