She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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