I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
