they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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