I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
