I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
