You just made me feel so damn special
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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