I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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