I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
