So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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