Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hell yes lets make some ravioli
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
