my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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