I just made out with a guy for $7.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
