HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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