Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
