You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
