I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
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