Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
