At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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