He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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