Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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