i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
