i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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