wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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