just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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