I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
