And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
