i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
