I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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