Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to sanitize my soul.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
