that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
