Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize