Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
