my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize