Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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