tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
