I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
