White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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