She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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