Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
