That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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